Cold Nostalgia

Hey I'm Zulaiha Shereen. Zully for short :) I'm 18! Can't live without my mum, my whole family, friends, and ice cream <3

Friday, February 07, 2014 @ Friday, February 07, 2014

Passau

We haven't reached the peak yet when this pic was taken, but this was exactly the moment my mind went, "Eh OMG, i've been here before!". Oh such a bummer (Not really, actually :D)

Passau ; (previously Latin: Batavis or Batavia) is a town in Lower Bavaria, Germany. It is also known as the Dreiflüssestadt or "City of Three Rivers," because the Danube is joined at Passau by the Inn from the south and the Ilz from the north.
Okay so i copied the lil intro up there from Mr. Wiki. Zulaiha Shereen and geography, like hello? Not a good combination.

So the story goes like this..

Shafara and I wanted to do something to celebrate the end our finals (Hurray!). So we decided to go to Passau since it's just one hour away from Deggendorf. A a lot nicer than Deggendorf, obviously. Sure i've been to Passau before, but i've never really searched about it, it's attraction and all. All i know is just, "It's a nice place." So yesterday i felt a little urge to search about Passau, and i found about Veste Oberhaus. It's a place where we could have a view from on top, overlooking the beautiful old city of Passau. The reviews about that place were also pretty convincing. It's a 45 minutes walk up the hill / stairs. Quite tiring for someone who has not gone for exercise for ages. But it sounds like a lot of fun so we thought we should give it a try ! And our aim was to watch the sunset view :D

So we climbed, and climbed... And climbed. The surrounding scenery was beautiful and creepy and the same time. We felt like we were in the movie Twilight. (betul, tak tipu). The hike up wasn't too extreme but there were a few steep areas and we had to be careful since it was kinda muddy. I name those the "scary phase". But that only lasts for a couple of minute, so all is good.

At some point while going up, I suddenly felt a little Dejavu. It's like I know where exactly we were heading to, but i wasn't too sure about it. And finally we almost reach the peak, a flashback came running in my head. I have actually been to Veste Oberhaus before. I've seen the view of Passau from a pretty high altitude. Point is, I've BEEN THERE ! But it didn't even cross my mind that Veste Oberhaus, the place i totally looked forward to going, is a place i've been in sometime in September last year. It's not even too long ago. Heck, it's only been five months!! Okay, i'm not totally crazy. The last time i went there, i went by bus from Deggendorf and straight to Veste Oberhaus. I wasn't at all keen about the trip, I went simply because i paid for the orientation week fees and i didn't wanna waste my money. So i went with a bunch of other international students. The bus ride was pretty damn boring but i gotta say i didn't regret joining the trip because of the view.

But this time it's different. I actually wanted to go there. So it wasn't a let down. The view was a lot more beautiful because today's weather was just wonderful. And I didn't go with a group of strangers, so the vibe is also very different. We had fun climbing / hiking up , and spent a good one hour up there. Just to enjoy the beautiful view during sunset and took a few, or let's just say a shit-load of photos :D A lil bit of mini photography session is always fun, no ? :)

We watched the sunset and it was pretty surreal. The view was simply breathtaking. Worth the sweat ! (yes, just being dramatic here, it's winter! didn't even sweat much, if not at all) And soon after that we decided to go down time since we didn't wanna walk in the dark. That would be.... unimaginable. And the walk down was obviously a lot faster. We went down using the exact same route but feels like it was ten times shorter. Well that's pretty normal ain't it? :)

Sunset :)

Since our main goal was Veste Oberhaus during sunset, we had a little time to kill. So we walked along the river, and chilled for a while at the 'playground'.

Photographer Fara in action.

Probably one of the most calming way to read the newspaper.

Landing. Sumpah best.

Self-twofie.

So i think that's about it. This was the perfect way to release our stress from hectic weeks of examinations. Next up is Munich ! :D Hopefully our trip to Munich tomorrow will be just as fun :) Or fun-er, even better !

Oh, I almost forgot. We ended the day by joining the Mannheim students for dinner. Ten of them are here in Deggendorf for snowboarding. Had dinner with them two nights in a row at the exact same place. Haha. Thank god this time, I actually ordered something else. Trying to be a lil bit adventurous with food now.. Hehe.

Here's a pic of my kind of fancy dinner !
Ish, lapar pulak bila post gambar makanan.

Till then.

Zully Wully Schwully

xoxo

Saturday, October 12, 2013 @ Saturday, October 12, 2013

Hello earthlings ! And by earthlings i just really meant ME since i´m pretty sure the only person who´s gonna read this will be yours truly :D

Well, so obviously before i start writing after the loooonnng pause (oh big shocker here) , i´d actually read my previous post. That was *counts with fingers* around 7 months ago. That was a pretty rough phase for me. Anyways, i´m finally a university student now ! *grins* In Deggendorf Institute of Technology, sounds cool ey. No ? Ahaha.

I'm not gonna write about how, or why i got here. Here as in, in Germany. Instead i'm gonna write about what i do here :D As in my daily activities, or just my thoughts and there will be random posts too, that's for sure.

Actually one of the main reasons i'm writing this post is to practice my typing skills using german keyboard. I'll be having lotsa classes that involve computers and obviously they've german keyboards. I was so embarrassed in my first Informatic class. Heck, an old lady can even type faster than me!

But right now i'm cheating cuz i changed back my keyboard settings to the original setting. English, international setting? Or whatever it's called. Mainly because I can't find this < and > buttons. I mean, if i wanna do this @ symbol using normal keyboard but with german settings, i'd have to press Ctrl and Alt simultaneously, and the Q and i'll get @ ! but, i've been searching for more than an hour for these 2 symbols, < and > but i still couldn't find them! It might be just a symbol for you but it's pretty damn important for me as i'll be doing lots of HTMLs. So i think i'll buy a second keyboard. Tomorrow. And then i'll start blogging and updating about my life here ! If, i have the time to do so :D

So that's it for now.
Bye !

back to top?

Saturday, March 09, 2013 @ Saturday, March 09, 2013

test test back to top?

Monday, February 25, 2013 @ Monday, February 25, 2013

Smile, though your heart is aching

It's 5 a.m and I can't sleep.
Knowing that this isn't the normal Sunday night that i've to sleep early because i need to rush back to college the next morning for German class. Yes, that means that my college life officially ended. I wouldn't wanna use the word 'finally' because I wasn't so eager for it to end so quickly.

The last 2 weeks here had been very hectic and exhausting. Had bench work classes, then had to find time to clean my room and practice for the dinner performance. Went out every single night on the last week in college and I'm really glad that I got to spend time with my friends.

You know, honestly I didn't remember feeling this sad and emotional leaving high school. People say high school life would always be the best and most memorable time in your life. Yes, i've had fair share of great memories in both SAB and also Melawati High. But, college life turned out to be even more amazing. 20 months ago, I would've not even thought of enjoying myself in GMi, let alone miss it once it's over. But now, it's only been one day since I left and I can't seem to accept I wouldn't go back there.

No more waking up at 7.30 and freak out because class starts at 8.
No more late night gossip or let's just say girly talks with them roommates.
No more eating together in our room and one of us will eventually say "Dah lama tak macam ni..:)"
No more eating lunch at Wak Dol.
No more jogging at Alam Sari..
No more red uniform..

What I'm gonna miss most is definitely my classes there, and my awesome bunch of crazy, funny, and intellectual classmates. Really you guys, I'm so gonna miss all your spontaneous jokes.

All those things that you guys say over and over again in class until it gets stuck in our heads (Reen and I), until we even say it in our rooms, and the 'taglines' will spread to our roommates. Those funny phrases like , "Ngaku ahh" , "Kerja nak senang" , "Lain macam ehh" , "benda senang pun nak kena ajar ke?" , "tenang..tenang" , "geli-geli je" with that particular tone.

I'm gonna miss those fun times we've had in vorpraktikum eventhough it could be a tad stressful and pretty damn exhausting at times. I'm gonna miss the ever-so-lovely Frau Simone who's always, always so graceful and nice to us. I'm gonna miss chemistry class ; who would ever thought that Miss Cynthia, the lecturer that I fear the most in semester one would be so caring and loving. I'm gonna miss being too stressed out in Ms Atikah's mechanic class, until there comes a time ( a few times actually ) when I just couldn't take it and cry. And then there's physics class, which we've had 3 lecturers. Miss Fiza and Miss Shikin, not only are they awesome in teaching, they're also the sweetest and even treat us like friends, being so sporting and always 'belanja-ing' us , making our bond even stronger. Not to forget the petite Ms Fouziah who's actually also very sweet but can be really strict with our paper 5. Haha. Mr Bo and how his contagious laugh. And of course, Miss Fateha or better known and Cik Fateha. I'll miss how she calls me Cik Leha in that high-pitch voice of hers, and how our class would laugh for like every 5 seconds in her lesson. They are all a dedicated bunch who wants the best for us.

But mostly what I'd miss the most is the life there, spent with friends. Like the late night walks with Jun or Reen around campus just because. I'm gonna miss arguing with Reen almost every day, and then she'll say "buat hal lah" in that tone. And she'll also go on and on saying "dah tak lama dah awak nak annoyed dengan kita, tak sampai sebulan pun" everyday. And then poof, one month went by with a blink of an eye. Those fun study group with Bat and the rest. And how Syadza and I call each other 'baby' . The rides back home, be it by train or car. The times when we went for karaoke and sang our hearts out. The gossips. The never-ending drama. The scandals. The heartbreaks. Crush ; new crush, old crush, some even have forever crush. The spontaneous outings. The "Sunday night rituals". I'm gonna miss all these. Like seriously.

I've never been to a boarding school before so obviously these lovely girls ; Reen, Jun, Qilah and Qur are my very first roommates. We practically live together and see each other's faces almost every single day. Not to forget the other girls. There's only 14 of us, so just imagine how we can easily bond. Goodbyes are never easy. But this time it's extra hard. You know, that moment when you're packing your stuffs, and one by one came to you, hugged and all, said some things, and tears started rolling down your cheeks without you even realizing it. It's just heartbreaking. I'm gonna miss each and every one of you girls. Especially the ones who are close to the heart. You know who you are.

And then there's the Graduation day & dinner. You can't help but to think that it would be your very last time seeing some, or maybe most of them. Who knows, the next time you'll meet them is in 5 or 10 years time. Whoah.

In the end we have to realize that this is just another phase in life that we have to go through. It's gonna be hard at first. But there's always skype, twitter, facebook, instagram, whatsapp, and what nots. So it is almost impossible for us to drift apart.

To all GAPPians '11 , thanks for this amazing, wonderful, and fun-filled journey. I'm blessed to be given the chance to be a part of GAPP '11 .

I'll end this post with the video that's been beautifully made for us GAPP '11.

As we go on,

We'll remember,

All the times we've, had together,

As our lives change,

Come whatever,

We will still be,

Friends forever.

Class of '11 , you will be missed

Lots of love,

Zully Wully Schwully,

xoxo

Wednesday, January 23, 2013 @ Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Well.. I honestly don't really know how to start this post. All I know is, I just really need to pour my heart out. If I were to write it down on my non-existent diary, or let's just say a piece of paper, I'm afraid I won't be able to read it if it gets wet..

Sometimes, in life, we don't always get what we want. And I know, i know, everything happens for a reason. But if you're in my place right now, just maybe, you actually know how I feel. I didn't expect to be this frustrated, disappointed. Before this I've been telling myself, "If ada rezeki, adalah. Kalau tak dapat nak buat macam mana". But little did I know it's not that easy to deal with.

Now you know, when I told you, 'it's tough, it's really tough', I meant it. Well it sure might be easy for everyone else, but not for me. I've had a rough time being here, studying here. I'll break down every now and then. Always felt like I'm never good enough for this. But I tried. I struggled. And I've done my best. And I hoped and expected too much of myself. And now, I can't help but feel like a total failure. But I believe that Allah knows what's best for me.

Hope. Expectations. My expectations. Even worse, my family's expectations, my Mom's.

It's the worst feeling in the world to not being able to make your loved ones happy. And it's also the worst feeling in the world to be disappointed in yourself. I've never felt this sad before. Right now, ever since yesterday, everything seems so dark. I know I shouldn't dwell on it. It's not the end of the world. Not the end of the journey, or so they say.

But I just can't help it.

When you're down, you're crying like there's no tomorrow, you'll feel like you wanna be all alone in your room. But sometimes, just a simple "are you okay?" from your close buddies would lighten things up. I really thank those who did ask about me. I really appreciate it :) And to my roommates, if any of you are reading this, thank you so much :) You know who you are :)

And, to my dearest, dearest classmate, my roommate, who's been with me through thick and thin. Thanks for always having my back. Thanks for dealing with me when i'm at my worst, Reen :) Reen, if you're reading this, I can't believe that you actually shampooed my hair, dried it, and combed it just to make me feel better. Thanks so much darling :') Sayang awak. Also not to forget my dear bestie who hoped the best for me, and felt sad for me when she found out about it, but gave me words of comfort and made me feel better. Annnd, special thanks to Nik, my darling friend who's been a great support too. She's on the other side of the world, but she's very close to the heart :) I just love talking to her about almost everything. About studies, friendship, boys, ~~love~~ crushes, okay you get my point.. Ahah. Thanks for always being there Nik ! muahhs.

And of course, my strength, my pillar has got to be my family, especially my Mom. She's the only one who really knows what i've been going through. The one who understands. The one who help made me feel better, every freaking time I broke down while studying. Thanks for always having faith in me. But in the end I let you down. I'm just really, really sorry I can't make you proud Mummy :'(

But , my sisters said something that made me feel better yesterday. They said, "It's a sad and happy news at the same time, Ayin. We can't imagine you being away in a different country. Maybe it's not your time yet" :') So, I guess it really is not my time yet. I honestly can't imagine being apart from my Mom, my family. Right now I don't have to worry about that :)

But still I need a couple of days to accept this. To accept reality. I'm not okay now, but I'm sure I'll be just fine..

So, after reading this it's pretty damn obvious that I didn't get through. I only got 9 points. So, my journey continues here, in Malaysia. I need to think about the next step. Am I still taking engineering? But not just yet because I can't think straight right now. I need stop crying first.

Oh I almost forgot. Thank you so much to the lecturers who've helped me a lot. And to my peers who've wasted their time teaching me. Thanks a bunch. Without you guys, I might have quit aeons ago. And to Miss Mazz, thanks for always giving support to me, to all of us. Thanks for always believing in me, and being a mother to all of us.

Hmm.. I don't think I'll be able to go to German classes anymore. I've always had so much fun in German class. I really enjoy learning it. So I can't bare learning it knowing that I won't be there.. It just hurts so much. Es tut mir leid, Frau Simone :(

Before I end this post, I'd like to congratulate everyone who made it. Especially my classmates. Team 3, I really am proud of you guys :) Gila gila pun tapi still otak geliga ! I'm sorry, I've been too caught up with my own feelings that I forgot to congratulate you guys. And now that we've got our results, there's just one month left. I just hope that we'll make the best out of it. I know i'm not great as you guys. Sorry for always troubling you guys, especially in vorpraktikum when i'll be all clueless. I actually am gonna feel sad that you guys are leaving soon. Leaving me :( Just don't forget about me alrite.. And this girl here loves postcards, so don't forget to send me one (or two or three) alrite ! Teehee. I'm gonna miss u guys so much. Lawak2 korang yang tak leh blah tu, hahah. I'm sure as hell gonna miss all of it. I really hope our friendship won't end here. All the best in Germany guys !

Till we meet again next time :)

Lots of love,

Zully Wully

xoxo

Tuesday, January 08, 2013 @ Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Well, hello there, 2013.

Haihhh.. Yeah, I just HAD to start my post with a huge sigh, considering my last post was freaking LAST year. Whoah, i've been really busy i guess.

I just went through my last post, and.. I'm sorry I didn't blog about my teeth surgery. And I'm not going too :p

Anyways, happy new year ! Just read my biodata up there, it says i'm 18. Heck, can't believe i'm turning 20 this year. In approximately a month time, YIKES. Twenty sounds super old. Ew.

Okay so first things first, let me update on what's happening in my life right now..

1. I'm a proud aunt to the cutest baby alive (no, i'm not exaggerating) ! He's 6 months plus now :)

Baby Aariz Aqeil, my adorable little nephew

2. I'm done with A-levels, and i'm in my forth, my final semester. I''ve been so tied up with vorpraktikum (practical). I still go home every single weekend though, hihi. Oh.. Results are coming out so soon. I don't know what to think of. I'm obviously freaking out to the max.. Argh. Anyway, I can't hardly believe that my college life is almost ending :'(

3. I hated it here at first. But now I've come to enjoy being here. And I can't believe there's only a few months left. I guess I just gotta make the best out of it.

4. I'm definitely gonna miss my friends here :( I've become very close to some of them. Can't imagine being apart from them.. oh no :(

I've ran out of ideas to write about..

Inspiration needed !

Monday, February 06, 2012 @ Monday, February 06, 2012

A little bit of everything

Okay, here goes nothing. First of all, HELLO. Second of all, I really don't know where to start.. Like seriously. Since the last post, *scrolls down* , a lot has happened. A LOT. You couldn't even imagine.

Oh right. Maybe, I should start with Happy New Year ? Hah. I'm in college now, obviously. Since July 3rd '11 , I'll never ever forget that date. So it's been approximately 5 months of being a college student. I have to say, last year, the first 6 months of it, which were probably the longest holiday one could ever have in a lifetime, were.. fun, to say the least. Spent so much of quality time with family and friends, until I got a tad too attached to being at home, close to mom especially.

But, the next thing I knew, I was already packing for college. I might have mentioned in it my previous post. I'm in GMi now, German Malaysian Institute in Bangi, doing A-levels, in preparation to do my degree in Engineering in Deutschland(Germany) in 2013, insyaAllah if all goes well, Amiiin. I don't do this often, write directly what's happening in my life. But really, what's there to hide, right? It's not like anyone reads this anyway :)

Like I said, I really don't know where to start. Hmm.. So maybe I'll just write what has happened in my life since I entered college.

1. Homesick to the max. Up until now, I think I've only spent 1 weekend there, i think..

2. I've learned a new language and it's kinda weird that it's my favourite subject there ! :)

3. I've made a bunch of new friends there. Became friends with people I never imagined getting close to. And eventhough it's been only 5 months, I've lost friends too. It's a sad thing, really.

4. I've felt like a total failure, countless times. Never in my life, be it in kindergarten, primary or high school, have I gotten such low marks for exams and tests.

5. Felt like quitting and giving up countless of times too. There are even times when I wanted to get the hell out of there, and settle down with Culinary instead. Or to the extent of getting married and live happily ever after (not). But, there's something that's been keeping me going. My mom. My family. Their faith in me. And my future.

6. Oh, my god ! My sister Shigim got married in September and now she's five months pregnant ! This just shows how incredibly long I've abandoned you, dearest bloggie woogie :( It's a boy ! I'm gonna get a nephew ! *dances*

7. College life : Believe it or not, I've had my fair share of on-top-of-the-world and heartbreaking moments. On top of the world moments, when I was having so much fun there, before things get too serious and way before the 'Summative Exam'. Most of us were still so laid back. And also when someone was being so nice to me, it felt so..nice. Heartbreaking moments.. This one, is kinda hard to explain. First was during the orientation week, it was so tough for me. Cried day and night because it was my first time being away from home. It was such a horrible feeling, I tell you. Then, I made new friends. New awesome friends, I shall say. But sadly, that one person left me just when we've really bonded :'( Our friendship didn't end of course, but everything's different without her. It was so hard getting used to it at first. But now, I'm doing fine with my one and only girl classmate who's also my dearest roomie :) Of course I'll miss dear friend (who's pursuing her dreams in a medical college in Penang now) , once in a while. But we're just one phone call away :)

8. Also, I've fell in..like. With a certain someone. It was nice getting to know him. For once, I felt special. It felt like there's someone to turn to, besides your family and close girlfriends. I've never even had guy friends before, so all these were something very new for me. Mind you, I have no choice but to be friends with guys now since the ratio of girls to guys there is 1 : 7. Anyways, back to the story. I guess it's true what they say, expectations lead to disappointments and heartbreaking moments. Heck, it wasn't like I was hoping for "something more". But , I just wanted to be friends. Up until now, I wonder, where did I go wrong? Why did you suddenly stopped talking to me? And you're acting all weird. Or maybe, it's just me, being the most paranoid girl in the planet. I can't help but to miss you sometimes. I just missed talking to you. Is that wrong ?

Ugh, sorry this post has turn to a mushy one. Not what I had planned.. But it feels good to spill and pour your thoughts once in a while.

Right now, I'm really trying my very best to focus on studies. I feel like i'm the dumbest one there. Just a few days ago, I broke down, for the umpteenth time when I sit down and think of my future. Am I really fit for engineering ? Am I ? Broke down in front of my mom, turned to my besties. I'm so glad to have wonderful people around me. They're the reason I'm still going strong. In the end I just realized that, I got this opportunity, this golden opportunity if I may add, and I'd be crazy to just give it all up just because I think that I'm not good enough. It's just that, once in a while, I just need somebody or something to motivate me and help me to throw away all the negative thoughts circling my head.

By the way, sorry for my horrible horrible English. Honestly, I missed learning English. My English is going down the drain ever since I learned a new language. Hehe.

Actually. The purpose i'm blogging is because, I originally wanted to blog about my teeth

surgery.. Yes, you read that right, it's teeth, not tooth. Since I just removed four of them.. O_o But it felt wrong to just update about a surgery after months and months of not blogging. Also, I just read my dear friend, Adilah's blog. I've always loved and will always love her way of writing. So pure, meaningful, and I know it comes straight from her heart. I wish I could write like her :(

So, I guess I'll update about my first surgery in the next post, soon, hopefully :)

P/s : Can you believe that, it's already February ? My favourite month of the year ! For so many reasons :) And this year, it's extra special. 2012 is a big year for me. I'll blog more about this later too.

Before I end this post, I'd just like to say that.. Now that we've all grown up, we're in different paths now, chasing our own dreams, we become more distant from each other. I want my high school friends to know that, you guys are always in my heart. It's sad looking at some of your photos on Facebook and thinking that, "I can never get close to you ever again..". I just have to accept that people change and we have to move on with our lives. But, the truest of them true

friends will stick with you through thick and thin. I am still blessed to have some wonderful people around me who I can still call "friends".

High school friends, forever in my heart <3

College friends, you fill my days with joy and laughter :') <3

Lotsa love from Zully Wully, xoxo