4. I've felt like a total failure, countless times. Never in my life, be it in kindergarten, primary or high school, have I gotten such low marks for exams and tests.

5. Felt like quitting and giving up countless of times too. There are even times when I wanted to get the hell out of there, and settle down with Culinary instead. Or to the extent of getting married and live happily ever after (not). But, there's something that's been keeping me going. My mom. My family. Their faith in me. And my future.

6. Oh, my god ! My sister Shigim got married in September and now she's five months pregnant ! This just shows how incredibly long I've abandoned you, dearest bloggie woogie :( It's a boy ! I'm gonna get a nephew ! *dances*

7. College life : Believe it or not, I've had my fair share of on-top-of-the-world and heartbreaking moments. On top of the world moments, when I was having so much fun there, before things get too serious and way before the 'Summative Exam'. Most of us were still so laid back. And also when someone was being so nice to me, it felt so..nice. Heartbreaking moments.. This one, is kinda hard to explain. First was during the orientation week, it was so tough for me. Cried day and night because it was my first time being away from home. It was such a horrible feeling, I tell you. Then, I made new friends. New awesome friends, I shall say. But sadly, that one person left me just when we've really bonded :'( Our friendship didn't end of course, but everything's different without her. It was so hard getting used to it at first. But now, I'm doing fine with my one and only girl classmate who's also my dearest roomie :) Of course I'll miss dear friend (who's pursuing her dreams in a medical college in Penang now) , once in a while. But we're just one phone call away :)

8. Also, I've fell in..like. With a certain someone. It was nice getting to know him. For once, I felt special. It felt like there's someone to turn to, besides your family and close girlfriends. I've never even had guy friends before, so all these were something very new for me. Mind you, I have no choice but to be friends with guys now since the ratio of girls to guys there is 1 : 7. Anyways, back to the story. I guess it's true what they say, expectations lead to disappointments and heartbreaking moments. Heck, it wasn't like I was hoping for "something more". But , I just wanted to be friends. Up until now, I wonder, where did I go wrong? Why did you suddenly stopped talking to me? And you're acting all weird. Or maybe, it's just me, being the most paranoid girl in the planet. I can't help but to miss you sometimes. I just missed talking to you. Is that wrong ?

Ugh, sorry this post has turn to a mushy one. Not what I had planned.. But it feels good to spill and pour your thoughts once in a while.

Right now, I'm really trying my very best to focus on studies. I feel like i'm the dumbest one there. Just a few days ago, I broke down, for the umpteenth time when I sit down and think of my future. Am I really fit for engineering ? Am I ? Broke down in front of my mom, turned to my besties. I'm so glad to have wonderful people around me. They're the reason I'm still going strong. In the end I just realized that, I got this opportunity, this golden opportunity if I may add, and I'd be crazy to just give it all up just because I think that I'm not good enough. It's just that, once in a while, I just need somebody or something to motivate me and help me to throw away all the negative thoughts circling my head.

By the way, sorry for my horrible horrible English. Honestly, I missed learning English. My English is going down the drain ever since I learned a new language. Hehe.

Actually. The purpose i'm blogging is because, I originally wanted to blog about my teeth

surgery.. Yes, you read that right, it's teeth, not tooth. Since I just removed four of them.. O_o But it felt wrong to just update about a surgery after months and months of not blogging. Also, I just read my dear friend, Adilah's blog. I've always loved and will always love her way of writing. So pure, meaningful, and I know it comes straight from her heart. I wish I could write like her :(

So, I guess I'll update about my first surgery in the next post, soon, hopefully :)

P/s : Can you believe that, it's already February ? My favourite month of the year ! For so many reasons :) And this year, it's extra special. 2012 is a big year for me. I'll blog more about this later too.

Before I end this post, I'd just like to say that.. Now that we've all grown up, we're in different paths now, chasing our own dreams, we become more distant from each other. I want my high school friends to know that, you guys are always in my heart. It's sad looking at some of your photos on Facebook and thinking that, "I can never get close to you ever again..". I just have to accept that people change and we have to move on with our lives. But, the truest of them true

friends will stick with you through thick and thin. I am still blessed to have some wonderful people around me who I can still call "friends".

High school friends, forever in my heart <3